Don't block people out when you are going through menopause
Do you feel sorry for your partner having to deal with your menopausal symptoms?
Do you think he/she/they would be better off without you as you have changed so much since the onset of menopause?
Seems extreme huh? Apparently not, I read a stat reporting that a significant number of women feel as though they would be doing everyone a favour if they left the family home.
If this is you, it is perhaps time to get some professional help.
If it’s not you but you can relate – listen up. Naomi has some wise words. Her very good advice is to keep talking and don’t shut anyone out.
The rising divorce rate in the 40’s, 50’s and 60’s age range is often attributed to menopause, or more specifically, a lack of awareness from both parties and a complete lack of communication.
When speaking to Lance Armstrong, during his Forward podcast, tennis champion Chris Evert, attributed the break-up of her 18 year marriage to the ‘menopausal stuff’ that she believes doesn’t get spoken about enough.
I recall, hearing, during my teenage years, a friends incredulity upon hearing his mother’s account of the break-up of her marriage to his father. Menopause was the culprit. Neither of us could quite get our young heads around that particular insight.
Upon reflection, I am impressed that a 19 year old male was able to mention the M word. He didn’t stutter, stammer, blush or hide. Subsequent life experience has brought the realisation that my mate was way ahead of a curve, and remains so.
I bet he talks menopause with his wife.
If you have intention but lack courage – why don’t you…
- Book time – make an appointment for a convo with your other half
- Be clear about your agenda (this is about you) what do you want to discuss? What do you need to be heard?
- Understand what you need – what is your wish list? What do you want your other half to say? What do you need to change?
- If the interaction isn’t going as you hoped, you can always whip out your wish list
- Set a time limit for your chat and clearly communicate it to participants – you can extend it by mutual consent and you can finish early but you both might want to see the finish line as you start. You can set another date if you fancy a round two
We’d love to hear how you get on, and if you have any ideas for keeping channels of communication open, please let us know, we can pass it on.